A New Chapter

After almost 20 years seeking and serving God in Brenham and Chappell Hill, TX communities, God made it very clear to  me it was time to start a new chapter.  It was time to take a leap of faith to really "follow Him".  

About a year and a half ago, January 2013, God began to direct me in a new direction.  I remember that day like it was yesterday.  I was at a Sunday morning worship service.  Two of my friends, Dave and Gail, were preparing to leave for Colombia for a short term mission trip.  The pastor asked whoever would like to come forward and pray over them to do so.  Naturally, I did not hesitate.  I wanted God to work through them and watch over them.  When I returned to my seat, my best friend looked over at me with tears in her eyes and said, "You need to quit being afraid and go." 

My first thought was I had no idea what she was talking about.  But deep inside my heart, God was already at work.  

Over the next year, I prayed alot about what God desired.  He made it very clear through his Word and within my own heart that as long as I was burdened with material things, I would be going nowhere.  So, I began to purge.  As soon as I thought I was done purging, I could almost hear God laughing and feel Him smiling.  I was nowhere near done.  So, the journey continued.

I continued in the ministry God had laid before me many years before.  Working at a crisis pregnancy center, serving in the church with the youth, going on short term mission trips to the South Texas border, and just helping where needed. 

In the meantime, God prepared my heart to leave friends and family and a city I grew up in and had lived all my life.  I began to not quite feel "at home" anymore.  I dreamed of where and what God would lay before me and where He would have me go.  Over and over again, God spoke through his word, "Follow Me."  Countless times, in Bible study, sermons, devotion time, and just reading the Bible, God used the verses to draw me to follow him completely - whenever and wherever He chose. 

Matthew 8:22 But Jesus said to him, Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.

Matthew 9:9 And as Jesus passed forth from there, he saw a man, named Matthew, …

Matthew 16:24 Then said Jesus to his disciples, If any man will come after me, …

Matthew 19:21 Jesus said to him, If you will be perfect, go and sell that you have, …

Mark 2:14 And as he passed by, he saw Levi the son of Alphaeus sitting at the …

Luke 5:27 And after these things he went forth, and saw a publican, named Levi, …

Luke 9:59 And he said to another, Follow me. But he said, Lord, suffer me first …

John 1:43 The day following Jesus would go forth into Galilee, and finds Philip, …

John 12:26 If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall …

So, I finally relented and said, "Okay, Lord, I will follow.  But where is it I am supposed to follow you to?"  This began a new prayer.  Where?  Then, wouldn't you know, the next scripture I read was Genesis 12:1, "The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you."  God did not tell Abram where he was going, just to go. Okay...so what does that look like exactly?  Do I just pack a bag, get in the car and drive away?

Not exactly.  

In January 2014, a missionary spoke at our church. He shared many stories from the mission field. Stories that really touched my heart.  At the end of the service was an invitation to go to the front and pray or share with the pastor.  Well, my heart was about to beat out of my chest!  And if I've learned anything over the past 19 years of being a Christian, it is that that feeling came directly from the Holy Spirit.  So, I went forward.  All I could tell Pastor was that it was time.  God was leading me to a new mission field.  I just didn't know where.  He had me share with the congregation so that they could pray for me.  

Just after service was over, my friends, Dave and Gail, invited me to attend a meeting that afternoon about a short term mission trip to Bogota, Colombia.  Sure, I will go...to the meeting.  Not committing to anything, just to listen.  Well, that was the beginning of the path God had.  I did go on the trip and fell in love with Colombia.  I returned feeling very strongly that Colombia would be my new mission field.  

But, months went by with no further direction.  The more time went by, the more I began to question my initial thoughts.  Over and over, God made it clear it would all be in his time.  Be patient... okay.  

Another trip was planned to Bogota for June.  Just a few weeks prior to the trip, I decided I needed to go and God would provide the finances.  And, of course, he did.  It was this trip that really grabbed my heart.  The poverty and the need of so many people seemed considerably overwhelming.  What could I possibly do to help?  Where would I even begin?  

Then, God brought it into focus.  "Begin with this one - the one I put in front of you." And because of the Godly people and the awesome work that was already being done, I knew that I would not be alone.  I desired to help my Colombian brothers and sisters in Christ in the great task before them.  

It was very clear that week that upon returning to the states, I needed to sell my house and prepare to return, soon.  

Then God laid it on my mom's heart to buy my house and move back to Washington County.  God was preparing a new chapter for her as well.  Just this last weekend, she "officially" moved in.  

So, doors were opening, quickly.  The organization that Dave and Gail work with, Sparrow International, was in need of a "house mom" for a safe house in Bogota.  Hmmm.  God was opening doors. 

The safe house, Casa Egreso, consists of three young ladies, with two more on the way, who have spent most of their childhood in an orphanage or institution of some sort.  When they turn 18, they have to leave.  So what happens if they have no place to go?  Well, you can only imagine...  At Casa Egreso, they have a safe place to live while they attend college or technical school and work.  There is a process and guidelines they must follow, but it is a place to help them become the person God has designed them to be.  A place where they know they are loved.  A place where they can learn what it means to live in the world.  And prayerfully, a place where they come to know the One who loves them the most.

So, here I am. 

Over the last 5 weeks, I have learned so much...and I am not just referring to my Spanish.  I have had many opportunities to minister in this city.  I have met some amazing Christ followers that I am honored to call brother and sister.  This is only the beginning.

In my next post I will do my best to catch you up on all that has happened because I have a feeling the flood gates are about to bust.  I am so excited and blessed and humbled that God has allowed me to be here.  To be a part of something far greater than I ever anticipated. 

He knows our deepest desires.  He knows our thoughts.  He desires so much more than we can ever dream.  Open up to all He has for you.  Don't put it off another day!  In Christ there is freedom.  Give it all to God - ALL!  

---continued from previous post---
So...I gave my life to Christ.  What exactly did that mean?  My friends asked me that very question.  I didn't know.  I guess it meant I would go to church on Sundays and spend the rest of my week doing what I had done before.  I would still hang out with my friends, still party it up, and still "enjoy" myself.  Little did I know that was not what God had planned.  For "if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation, the old is gone and the new has come." (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Over the next several months, God began a new work in me.  He began to change the desires I had.  I no longer wanted to smoke, get drunk, and party it up.  I desired more and more to be around people who desired to serve God and worship God.  I spent time reading the Bible and the desires of my heart began to change.  I wanted to know Him more and more.  I had a thirst and a hunger to know and understand God and His will for my life and my daughter's life.

At 21 years of age and my daughter only 3, we moved into a quaint little rent house in Chappell Hill.  My mom moved out of state and my two closest friends moved 2 hours away.  My brothers were still near, but had small children of their own.  Our time together was very limited. I found myself spending more and more time with my "spiritual" family.  I joined First Baptist Church Chappell Hill and enjoyed the time we spent together.  It was there in that church that I found acceptance, love, encouragement, discipleship, and a place to serve God by serving others.  Don't misinterpret what I am saying.  My blood family definitely loved me and accepted me, but we all need more than that. 

God wants all of us to join together with other Christ followers to worship and serve.  To learn from one another, encourage one another, and love one another. 

And it was there that I grew. I "grew in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever!" (2 Peter 3:18).

 

More to come...

First Post...What Do I Say?

So...I've had this blog made for over a week now, but just haven't known where to begin.  There is so much to tell.  It is my desire that, in all I say and do, God will be glorified and others may be drawn closer to Him. 

I have not always been a Christ follower.  As a child, I learned all about God and Jesus and all the stories of the Bible.  I understood that Jesus died on the cross to save me from my sins.  But there was one missing link.  A link that seems so simple, and really should be.  But because of our human nature, we make it very difficult.  From the time we are born, we are taught to become independent human beings.  To learn to take care of ourselves and do things on our own.  This isn't all bad. But it goes against everything God wants from us. 

God wants total dependence on Him.  He wants us to have a relationship with Him.  Not just any relationship, but a very close, personal relationship.  He wants us to ask Him for and about EVERYTHING.  He wants to be our hearts desire.  But because of our "need" to be independent, we struggle with this very concept (or at least I do). 

That is why at the age of 13, I began to do things my way.  How I wanted and when I wanted...or so I thought.  I began drinking and "having fun."  At the age of 15, I had sex for the first time and it was the beginning of many times thereafter.  Shortly after, I began smoking and doing drugs.  I thought I was having fun.  I thought I was happy.  I thought I could escape from a life that I thought was dull and boring.  I thought this was the fun life.  Party after party.  High after high.  But deep inside, there was a big hole.

At age 17, I found myself pregnant after a one night stand with a guy I barely knew.  I remember that next morning, standing on the balcony with my best friend, knowing that I was pregnant.  But I didn't know what to do, so I decided to do nothing.  Maybe if I pretend nothing had changed, it would go away.  But, when September rolled around, so did the baby.  Despite the harm I had done to my body and to that of my unborn child, God protected her.  I gave birth to a beautiful 5lb 5oz baby girl. 

I still was unsure what I was going to do.  My mom was so supportive.  She told me she would support any decision I chose, whether to parent or place for adoption.  It really was not until my brother came into the room and with tears in his eyes told me I better take good care of his niece. And that began a new chapter in my life.

I would like to say I was on the straight and narrow at that point, but not so.  Sure, having a baby slowed me down a little bit, but I still managed to have "fun" and party it up.  Isn't that what life was about?  I wasn't the worst mom... Thankfully, my mom was there to pick up my pieces.  To not only finish raising me, but to help raise my daughter too. 

This went on for about 3 years.  At age 20, my daughter's father got in touch with us.  He wanted to see her and spend time with her.  I wasn't about to let her go with him alone, so I went along as well.  On weekends, we would visit his family and attend church.  It was during one of those church services that I began to understand that God was not some "Big Guy in the Sky", but a loving, caring God who desires a personal relationship with all who will accept.  I began to understand that no matter what I had done in my past, God wanted to forgive me and wipe the slate clean.  Jesus died on the cross and rose again so that we might have eternal life in heaven with him and abundant life here on earth. 

It was there, in that small Hispanic mission church, that I gave my life to Christ.  With a flood of tears and a heart full of remorse, I asked Jesus to forgive me of every wrong thing I had ever done.  I asked Him to be the One in control of my life.  And there I found so much more than I could have ever asked. 

....to be continued...